Mediation in Divorce

 The Role of Mediation in Divorce

I have spoken before about mediation in the divorce process before but I cannot stress enough the value of mediation.  Mediation is a process to help divorcing couples work out issues which they are unable to agree on.  Old school contested divorce consisted of arguing the conflicts in front of a judge and the judge deciding how things would be done or divided.  More and more the judges are not just asking, but sometimes demanding, that sensitive issues like custody, be worked out between the parties.

Why Mediation

You might say, "if the judge isn't going to decide what's the point?"  The point is very simple.  You and your spouse know your family best.  You know your kids, you know their schedules, their hopes and dreams and fears.  You know what makes your kids tick.  The judge is an outsider.  If push comes to shove the judge will decide based upon the criteria set forth in the Idaho Code.  That criteria, however, is sterile in the sense that it is simply a guideline.  To make a judgment as to how your minor children will spend their lives until they are 18 based on a guideline is a fail for your children.

Working Together

Sometimes it is all but impossible to work together and that is why you are getting divorced.  You can disagree as to the division of your property and your debt and the judge will apply community property laws to solve the issue if you can't agree.  If you have minor children, the business of divorce is a process.  There will be years of coparenting and, while you may not agree as to how your spouse does things, the parties need to work together for the benefit of the children.  On going disagreement and conflict will not change the other party or get back at them, it will hurt your children.  So many kids today live in homes where a divorce has taken place.  The schools are overwhelmed with custody battles and schedules.  In my opinion, the best way to resolve a custody issue is through agreement.  If you can't agree on your own mediation can help the parties see what is important and what isn't.

If you are seeking a divorce or custody and need to speak with a Boise Divorce Attorney, give us a call and see what we can do for you, (208) 472-2383 or visit us a our divorce page.

Uncontested Divorce

What is an Uncontested Divorce?

People often ask me what an uncontested divorce is.  There are many types of divorce (check my website for the various kinds www.lawboiseid.com.html) including uncontested, contested, default etc.  An uncontested divorce simply means the parties agree, or substantially agree, about the terms of the divorce.  They have essentially worked out the details themselves or they have the majority of the details worked out but need some help from a divorce attorney or a mediator to settle on the other details.

What Next?

So, what do you do if you have the details of your divorce worked out or substantially worked out?  One party, or one party's attorney, needs to file the divorce petition, just like you would in any other divorce.  The other party needs to be served with the divorce papers just like the way you would in any other divorce.  Likewise, if children are involved, the parties need to attend the focus on children workshop. 

So What's the Difference?

The difference comes in how the paperwork is handled after the initial steps are taken. Once all the wrinkles are worked out, your divorce attorney will either prepare a stipulation or prepare the default paperwork.  A stipulation is an agreement between the parties as to the terms of the divorce which is submitted along with the final paperwork.  That agreement contains all the terms of the divorce.
A default judgment occurs if the parties decide that they don't want to stipulate to anything but that one party just won't fight the divorce.

It is important, in a stipulation, to be as specific as possible so that all the details are covered and there is nothing that is left out which would necessitate the case being reopened.  Likewise, if the divorce is taken by default, if the paperwork isn't specific enough, there could be an argument that the case needs to be reopened. Just an FYI, there are other reasons too why a default judgment may be reopened.  I will touch on that in a later post.

In an uncontested divorce, once the judgment and decree of divorce, the stipulation are signed by the judge and all the relevant divorce paperwork is filed, the divorce is final. 

How long does it take?

A truly uncontested divorce can happen very quickly.  Once all the paperwork is submitted and no amendments or further changes are made, a judge will sometimes sign the decree within 2 weeks.  Sometimes, if there are children involved, the judge may wait the 21 day period allowed for a party to file an Answer before they will sign the stipulation.  The long and short of it is that uncontested divorces can, and do, happen very fast. 

If you need to speak with an attorney concerning divorce, child custody, child support, modification or any other family law issue, give us a call, (208) 472-2383.  You will be glad you did.