The Role of Mediation in Divorce
I have spoken before about mediation in the divorce process before but I cannot stress enough the value of mediation. Mediation is a process to help divorcing couples work out issues which they are unable to agree on. Old school contested divorce consisted of arguing the conflicts in front of a judge and the judge deciding how things would be done or divided. More and more the judges are not just asking, but sometimes demanding, that sensitive issues like custody, be worked out between the parties.
Why Mediation
You might say, "if the judge isn't going to decide what's the point?" The point is very simple. You and your spouse know your family best. You know your kids, you know their schedules, their hopes and dreams and fears. You know what makes your kids tick. The judge is an outsider. If push comes to shove the judge will decide based upon the criteria set forth in the Idaho Code. That criteria, however, is sterile in the sense that it is simply a guideline. To make a judgment as to how your minor children will spend their lives until they are 18 based on a guideline is a fail for your children.
Working Together
Sometimes it is all but impossible to work together and that is why you are getting divorced. You can disagree as to the division of your property and your debt and the judge will apply community property laws to solve the issue if you can't agree. If you have minor children, the business of divorce is a process. There will be years of coparenting and, while you may not agree as to how your spouse does things, the parties need to work together for the benefit of the children. On going disagreement and conflict will not change the other party or get back at them, it will hurt your children. So many kids today live in homes where a divorce has taken place. The schools are overwhelmed with custody battles and schedules. In my opinion, the best way to resolve a custody issue is through agreement. If you can't agree on your own mediation can help the parties see what is important and what isn't.
If you are seeking a divorce or custody and need to speak with a Boise Divorce Attorney, give us a call and see what we can do for you, (208) 472-2383 or visit us a our divorce page.
