Divorce - The Reasons People Get Divorced

Why Do People Get Divorced?

People get divorce for so many different reasons.  It is hard to peg down just one common reason.  The concept of Irreconcilable Differences was introduced to address this issue.  It used to be that you had to have a reason why you wanted to divorce and then you had to prove that reason in court.  Divorce became so common and the courts finally caught up with the times.  You now can get divorced without having to prove anything.

Just because you don't have to prove anything doesn't mean that there aren't reasons why people get divorced.  Today I will address the top three reasons; Money, Adultery and Incompatibility.

Money

Money is a big issue.  The reasons behind why money is an issue are endless but in general they come down to people disagree about how to spend money, how much money to save, one party is working too much, the other party isn't working or contributing, someone is spending all the money on things the other party doesn't agree with.

Adultery

While technically adultery can be a "for cause" grounds for divorce, it  is often the reason people seek a divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences.  What I mean by that is that if you say you are seeking a divorce on the grounds of adultery, then you would have to prove the adultery.  If you aren't attached to having the other party being labeled an "adulterer", you can seek a divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences and you don't have to prove anything.  Some people live in a constant state of adultery and it doesn't seem to bother them.  Other people are truly offended by the misdeed and see it as a betrayal.

Incompatibility

While you would think that incompatibility shows up early in a marriage, it can actually show up at anytime.  In newly weds, incompatibility makes the parties do a gut check when they realize that they their personalities don't match, they don't love each other or it was just a fling.  In older couples, incompatibility usually shows up in "we have grown apart".  It isn't maybe that they were originally incompatible, they just don't have any compatibility now.

If you are seeking a divorce and need to speak to one of our attorneys, give us a call, (208) 472-2383.  Our divorce attorneys have the experience to help you.

Custody and Divorce

What's the Difference?

Sometimes legal terms get confused when they are used interchangeably.  Divorce and Custody are good examples of that.  If you are getting a divorce and you have children, you will also be working on custody issues.  You could also seek custody of your child even if you were never married and are not in need of a divorce.

Custody as Part of a Divorce Action

When you have kids and you decide to get divorced, the Court has jurisdiction over those kids.  This means that as part of your divorce action, either you and your spouse, your attorneys through negotiation or the judge will decide who has the kids, when and under what terms.  This includes visitation, child support, custody, vacations, health care and everything else that goes along with having a child.  The court will also divide your property either on its own findings or based upon the agreement of the parties or mediation.  Ultimately, the court will also grant your divorce.

Custody as an Independent Action

If you were never married and have a child together, you can ask the court to determine paternity, custody, child support and all the other odds and ends of things that go along with having a child.  This action is essentially the same as the custody portion of a divorce.  The court has jurisdiction over children who have lived in the state for a period of greater than 6 months and therefore can decide who will have custody and what the visitation will look like.

Trends in Custody

It used to be that the mother was almost always given primary physical custody of a child pursuant to divorce or to a custody action.  Over the years the court has moved away from that presumption.  The court looks at the best interest of the child in determining what custody arrangement will be ordered.  The court looks at several factors in making that decision.  While I will discuss those factors in my next post, the important thing here is that custody arrangements these days vary greatly.  Many times the court will order a 50/50 schedule where the child changes households every seven or so days.  If the parties agree on what the custody will look like you can get all sorts of arrangements; basically whatever fits your schedules as well as the kids' schedule.

If you need to talk with a Boise Divorce Attorney give us a call and see what we can do for you. (208) 472-2383.