Divorce - The Reasons People Get Divorced

Why Do People Get Divorced?

People get divorce for so many different reasons.  It is hard to peg down just one common reason.  The concept of Irreconcilable Differences was introduced to address this issue.  It used to be that you had to have a reason why you wanted to divorce and then you had to prove that reason in court.  Divorce became so common and the courts finally caught up with the times.  You now can get divorced without having to prove anything.

Just because you don't have to prove anything doesn't mean that there aren't reasons why people get divorced.  Today I will address the top three reasons; Money, Adultery and Incompatibility.

Money

Money is a big issue.  The reasons behind why money is an issue are endless but in general they come down to people disagree about how to spend money, how much money to save, one party is working too much, the other party isn't working or contributing, someone is spending all the money on things the other party doesn't agree with.

Adultery

While technically adultery can be a "for cause" grounds for divorce, it  is often the reason people seek a divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences.  What I mean by that is that if you say you are seeking a divorce on the grounds of adultery, then you would have to prove the adultery.  If you aren't attached to having the other party being labeled an "adulterer", you can seek a divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences and you don't have to prove anything.  Some people live in a constant state of adultery and it doesn't seem to bother them.  Other people are truly offended by the misdeed and see it as a betrayal.

Incompatibility

While you would think that incompatibility shows up early in a marriage, it can actually show up at anytime.  In newly weds, incompatibility makes the parties do a gut check when they realize that they their personalities don't match, they don't love each other or it was just a fling.  In older couples, incompatibility usually shows up in "we have grown apart".  It isn't maybe that they were originally incompatible, they just don't have any compatibility now.

If you are seeking a divorce and need to speak to one of our attorneys, give us a call, (208) 472-2383.  Our divorce attorneys have the experience to help you.

Custody and Divorce

What's the Difference?

Sometimes legal terms get confused when they are used interchangeably.  Divorce and Custody are good examples of that.  If you are getting a divorce and you have children, you will also be working on custody issues.  You could also seek custody of your child even if you were never married and are not in need of a divorce.

Custody as Part of a Divorce Action

When you have kids and you decide to get divorced, the Court has jurisdiction over those kids.  This means that as part of your divorce action, either you and your spouse, your attorneys through negotiation or the judge will decide who has the kids, when and under what terms.  This includes visitation, child support, custody, vacations, health care and everything else that goes along with having a child.  The court will also divide your property either on its own findings or based upon the agreement of the parties or mediation.  Ultimately, the court will also grant your divorce.

Custody as an Independent Action

If you were never married and have a child together, you can ask the court to determine paternity, custody, child support and all the other odds and ends of things that go along with having a child.  This action is essentially the same as the custody portion of a divorce.  The court has jurisdiction over children who have lived in the state for a period of greater than 6 months and therefore can decide who will have custody and what the visitation will look like.

Trends in Custody

It used to be that the mother was almost always given primary physical custody of a child pursuant to divorce or to a custody action.  Over the years the court has moved away from that presumption.  The court looks at the best interest of the child in determining what custody arrangement will be ordered.  The court looks at several factors in making that decision.  While I will discuss those factors in my next post, the important thing here is that custody arrangements these days vary greatly.  Many times the court will order a 50/50 schedule where the child changes households every seven or so days.  If the parties agree on what the custody will look like you can get all sorts of arrangements; basically whatever fits your schedules as well as the kids' schedule.

If you need to talk with a Boise Divorce Attorney give us a call and see what we can do for you. (208) 472-2383.

Divorce and Custody in Times of Covid-19

 Divorce and Custody in Times of Covid-19

Do I have to do a custody transfer during times of lock down or community spread?  This is a question I have been getting very frequently.  Many people are concerned and so for them it is a valid question.  There are some, who having been scarred by the divorce itself, will try to use community spread as a weapon against the other parent.

Child's Best Interest

The main focus of a custody order is the best interest of the child.  Maintaining regular and frequent contact are extremely important to a child's well being.  Keeping this in mind, it is imperative that in a situation where a child is going back and forth between homes, that both parents, as well as the child, are exercising precautions to prevent contraction of Covid-19.  By doing this, the parties can continue the child's routine which is so critical to their well being. If a child or a parent does contract Covid-19 the appropriate measures should be taken including notifying the other parent and apprising them of the situation.

Invalid Use of Claim

For those who seek to use Covid-19 as a tool to spite the other parent, judges are very good at reading through the lines.  Undoubtedly, they have heard testimony and if one parent or the other, or both, comes across as incredible, then when the issue of coronavirus is brought up, the judge may questions the veracity of the claim.

If you have questions about divorce, custody or covid-19 in relation to divorce or custody, give us a call at (208) 473-2383 or visit us at www.lawboiseid.com

Mediation in Divorce

 The Role of Mediation in Divorce

I have spoken before about mediation in the divorce process before but I cannot stress enough the value of mediation.  Mediation is a process to help divorcing couples work out issues which they are unable to agree on.  Old school contested divorce consisted of arguing the conflicts in front of a judge and the judge deciding how things would be done or divided.  More and more the judges are not just asking, but sometimes demanding, that sensitive issues like custody, be worked out between the parties.

Why Mediation

You might say, "if the judge isn't going to decide what's the point?"  The point is very simple.  You and your spouse know your family best.  You know your kids, you know their schedules, their hopes and dreams and fears.  You know what makes your kids tick.  The judge is an outsider.  If push comes to shove the judge will decide based upon the criteria set forth in the Idaho Code.  That criteria, however, is sterile in the sense that it is simply a guideline.  To make a judgment as to how your minor children will spend their lives until they are 18 based on a guideline is a fail for your children.

Working Together

Sometimes it is all but impossible to work together and that is why you are getting divorced.  You can disagree as to the division of your property and your debt and the judge will apply community property laws to solve the issue if you can't agree.  If you have minor children, the business of divorce is a process.  There will be years of coparenting and, while you may not agree as to how your spouse does things, the parties need to work together for the benefit of the children.  On going disagreement and conflict will not change the other party or get back at them, it will hurt your children.  So many kids today live in homes where a divorce has taken place.  The schools are overwhelmed with custody battles and schedules.  In my opinion, the best way to resolve a custody issue is through agreement.  If you can't agree on your own mediation can help the parties see what is important and what isn't.

If you are seeking a divorce or custody and need to speak with a Boise Divorce Attorney, give us a call and see what we can do for you, (208) 472-2383 or visit us a our divorce page.

Covid-19 and the Divorce Process

Our world has been turned upside down by the Covid-19 virus.  Our state was shut down for weeks.  We now go to the grocery store wearing masks and where some shelves are empty.  Things have definitely changed.  Some things don't change, however, and seeking a divorce is one of those things.  In a world of Covid-19, how has the divorce process changed?

People are still getting divorced.  People still struggle to live with one another.  Custody issues still abound.  The primary issues haven't changed but how we go about settling those issues have.  First and foremost, a lot of work is being done remotely.  Whereas you used to come into your attorney's office for a consultation or to work on your case, you now have the option of doing that remotely on video chat or by telephone.  The courts, while they are beginning to open, are still limiting how much contact they have with the outside world.  We are taking on the example of the criminal courts in that now many trials or hearings are done in the world of Zoom.

Another way things have changed is negotiation.  Because of the backlog with the court system, if a client wants to get their case wrapped up quicker than waiting for a hearing date, attorneys and clients have essentially been asked to work out issues more aggressively through negotiation.  Settlement conferences are on the uptick.

Will things ever go back to normal?  That is a good questions.  Some issues, however, cannot wait for normal or an answer to that question.  Married life is difficult and when it is coupled with incompatibility issues it can be impossible to continue.  The divorce attorneys at Kershisnik Law understand the need to move forward and with that in mind we will provide the same hard work, dedication and skill as we always have, whether that is through remote representation or through the new normal. 

If you need to speak with a Boise Divorce Attorney, please give us a call, (208) 472-2383.  You will be glad you did.  For more information please visit www.lawboiseid.com

Uncontested Divorce

What is an Uncontested Divorce?

People often ask me what an uncontested divorce is.  There are many types of divorce (check my website for the various kinds www.lawboiseid.com.html) including uncontested, contested, default etc.  An uncontested divorce simply means the parties agree, or substantially agree, about the terms of the divorce.  They have essentially worked out the details themselves or they have the majority of the details worked out but need some help from a divorce attorney or a mediator to settle on the other details.

What Next?

So, what do you do if you have the details of your divorce worked out or substantially worked out?  One party, or one party's attorney, needs to file the divorce petition, just like you would in any other divorce.  The other party needs to be served with the divorce papers just like the way you would in any other divorce.  Likewise, if children are involved, the parties need to attend the focus on children workshop. 

So What's the Difference?

The difference comes in how the paperwork is handled after the initial steps are taken. Once all the wrinkles are worked out, your divorce attorney will either prepare a stipulation or prepare the default paperwork.  A stipulation is an agreement between the parties as to the terms of the divorce which is submitted along with the final paperwork.  That agreement contains all the terms of the divorce.
A default judgment occurs if the parties decide that they don't want to stipulate to anything but that one party just won't fight the divorce.

It is important, in a stipulation, to be as specific as possible so that all the details are covered and there is nothing that is left out which would necessitate the case being reopened.  Likewise, if the divorce is taken by default, if the paperwork isn't specific enough, there could be an argument that the case needs to be reopened. Just an FYI, there are other reasons too why a default judgment may be reopened.  I will touch on that in a later post.

In an uncontested divorce, once the judgment and decree of divorce, the stipulation are signed by the judge and all the relevant divorce paperwork is filed, the divorce is final. 

How long does it take?

A truly uncontested divorce can happen very quickly.  Once all the paperwork is submitted and no amendments or further changes are made, a judge will sometimes sign the decree within 2 weeks.  Sometimes, if there are children involved, the judge may wait the 21 day period allowed for a party to file an Answer before they will sign the stipulation.  The long and short of it is that uncontested divorces can, and do, happen very fast. 

If you need to speak with an attorney concerning divorce, child custody, child support, modification or any other family law issue, give us a call, (208) 472-2383.  You will be glad you did.

Military Divorce

Military Divorce

I get a lot of questions from folks about military divorce.  In general, these questions revolve around child custody with an active duty military parent, military retirement, service of process on a member of the military who is on active duty and child support.  Military divorce has many of its own issues that you don't find or which are handled differently than a regular divorce.

Service of Process

There are laws to protect service members who are deployed or on active duty.  In the civilian context, when you serve divorce papers on someone you can have them served at home or at work.  If you have them served at home there is not a requirement that they personally are served.  Anyone over 18 years of age in the household can be served the papers and that is effective service.  Once they are served, they have twenty days to respond to the complaint or a default may be taken against them.

Active military personnel are protected against this with the Service Members Civil Relief Act (previously known as the Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act).  Not only can they not be served divorce papers, no divorce action may be taken against them while they are on active duty or immediately after the return from active duty.

Exercising Custody and Visitation While Deployed

Idaho allows a soldier to delegate their right to visitation and custody to another party by power of attorney.  What this means is that if a member of the armed services is deployed they can give their visitation rights to whomever they want (obviously within reason).  While it can and does cause irritation with the other parent, particularly if the right of visitation is given to a new partner or significant other, this allows a proxy to exercise regular and frequent contact while the service member is away on active duty.

Military Retirement

Military retirement and how it is divided is one of those things that have changed over time.  While a military spouse is entitled to half of the retirement acquired during their marriage, it hasn't always been that way.  At one point, maybe more, in Idaho law, military retirement belonged to the service member alone.

The division of military retirement requires specific paperwork to be divided correctly and for the proper accounting to be made.

Child Support

Believe it or not, there are issues with child support and military personnel.  These often revolve around the actual income of the soldier.  A soldier's income will include their regular pay, any disability the receive as well as any vouchers, housing or otherwise, that they receive.

If you need a divorce and want to speak with a Boise Divorce Attorney, give us a call at (208) 472-2383.  You will be glad you did.