Divorce - The Reasons People Get Divorced

Why Do People Get Divorced?

People get divorce for so many different reasons.  It is hard to peg down just one common reason.  The concept of Irreconcilable Differences was introduced to address this issue.  It used to be that you had to have a reason why you wanted to divorce and then you had to prove that reason in court.  Divorce became so common and the courts finally caught up with the times.  You now can get divorced without having to prove anything.

Just because you don't have to prove anything doesn't mean that there aren't reasons why people get divorced.  Today I will address the top three reasons; Money, Adultery and Incompatibility.

Money

Money is a big issue.  The reasons behind why money is an issue are endless but in general they come down to people disagree about how to spend money, how much money to save, one party is working too much, the other party isn't working or contributing, someone is spending all the money on things the other party doesn't agree with.

Adultery

While technically adultery can be a "for cause" grounds for divorce, it  is often the reason people seek a divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences.  What I mean by that is that if you say you are seeking a divorce on the grounds of adultery, then you would have to prove the adultery.  If you aren't attached to having the other party being labeled an "adulterer", you can seek a divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences and you don't have to prove anything.  Some people live in a constant state of adultery and it doesn't seem to bother them.  Other people are truly offended by the misdeed and see it as a betrayal.

Incompatibility

While you would think that incompatibility shows up early in a marriage, it can actually show up at anytime.  In newly weds, incompatibility makes the parties do a gut check when they realize that they their personalities don't match, they don't love each other or it was just a fling.  In older couples, incompatibility usually shows up in "we have grown apart".  It isn't maybe that they were originally incompatible, they just don't have any compatibility now.

If you are seeking a divorce and need to speak to one of our attorneys, give us a call, (208) 472-2383.  Our divorce attorneys have the experience to help you.

Mediation in Divorce

 The Role of Mediation in Divorce

I have spoken before about mediation in the divorce process before but I cannot stress enough the value of mediation.  Mediation is a process to help divorcing couples work out issues which they are unable to agree on.  Old school contested divorce consisted of arguing the conflicts in front of a judge and the judge deciding how things would be done or divided.  More and more the judges are not just asking, but sometimes demanding, that sensitive issues like custody, be worked out between the parties.

Why Mediation

You might say, "if the judge isn't going to decide what's the point?"  The point is very simple.  You and your spouse know your family best.  You know your kids, you know their schedules, their hopes and dreams and fears.  You know what makes your kids tick.  The judge is an outsider.  If push comes to shove the judge will decide based upon the criteria set forth in the Idaho Code.  That criteria, however, is sterile in the sense that it is simply a guideline.  To make a judgment as to how your minor children will spend their lives until they are 18 based on a guideline is a fail for your children.

Working Together

Sometimes it is all but impossible to work together and that is why you are getting divorced.  You can disagree as to the division of your property and your debt and the judge will apply community property laws to solve the issue if you can't agree.  If you have minor children, the business of divorce is a process.  There will be years of coparenting and, while you may not agree as to how your spouse does things, the parties need to work together for the benefit of the children.  On going disagreement and conflict will not change the other party or get back at them, it will hurt your children.  So many kids today live in homes where a divorce has taken place.  The schools are overwhelmed with custody battles and schedules.  In my opinion, the best way to resolve a custody issue is through agreement.  If you can't agree on your own mediation can help the parties see what is important and what isn't.

If you are seeking a divorce or custody and need to speak with a Boise Divorce Attorney, give us a call and see what we can do for you, (208) 472-2383 or visit us a our divorce page.

Covid-19 and the Divorce Process

Our world has been turned upside down by the Covid-19 virus.  Our state was shut down for weeks.  We now go to the grocery store wearing masks and where some shelves are empty.  Things have definitely changed.  Some things don't change, however, and seeking a divorce is one of those things.  In a world of Covid-19, how has the divorce process changed?

People are still getting divorced.  People still struggle to live with one another.  Custody issues still abound.  The primary issues haven't changed but how we go about settling those issues have.  First and foremost, a lot of work is being done remotely.  Whereas you used to come into your attorney's office for a consultation or to work on your case, you now have the option of doing that remotely on video chat or by telephone.  The courts, while they are beginning to open, are still limiting how much contact they have with the outside world.  We are taking on the example of the criminal courts in that now many trials or hearings are done in the world of Zoom.

Another way things have changed is negotiation.  Because of the backlog with the court system, if a client wants to get their case wrapped up quicker than waiting for a hearing date, attorneys and clients have essentially been asked to work out issues more aggressively through negotiation.  Settlement conferences are on the uptick.

Will things ever go back to normal?  That is a good questions.  Some issues, however, cannot wait for normal or an answer to that question.  Married life is difficult and when it is coupled with incompatibility issues it can be impossible to continue.  The divorce attorneys at Kershisnik Law understand the need to move forward and with that in mind we will provide the same hard work, dedication and skill as we always have, whether that is through remote representation or through the new normal. 

If you need to speak with a Boise Divorce Attorney, please give us a call, (208) 472-2383.  You will be glad you did.  For more information please visit www.lawboiseid.com

Boise Divorce Attorneys - Idaho Family Law Lawyers (208) 472-2383

As a Boise Divorce Attorney one of the most frequent questions I get from people is, "How do you decide who gets what in a divorce?"  On the most basic level, the division of property in a divorce is split according to community property laws.  Community property is the idea that any property or debt acquired with community funds during a marriage is community property.  Further, in general, it is the idea that community property should be split equally.

Very quickly so that you can understand the lingo of divorce lawyers, community property is usually contrasted with separate property and separate debt.  This can be money or property that you acquired before marriage but not necessarily always so.  It can also be property acquired with inheritance because inheritance is your separate money and property.  Also, if you have property from before you were married and you sell that property during the marriage, the income from the sale of that property is your separate income, unless the community attributed to an increase in value of that property.  If that is the case, the community is awarded the amount attributable to its contribution and then split according to community property law.  Okay, clear as mud?

The next factor explaining how community property is split can be by the desires of the parties.  It is possible for the two parties to decide on their own, without their attorneys or without the judge.  You can make an agreement between yourselves, known as a stipulation, whereby you agree to how the property is split.  If you do this, you can split it down the middle, unequally or by including separate property in the split.  Another way couples come to a stipulation and agree to whatever terms they want is through mediation.  If you can't come to an agreement your divorce attorneys will get involved and very possibly the judge.  Your divorce lawyers can negotiate terms.  If this doesn't work you will go to trial, your divorce lawyers will present the evidence as to why they think certain property and debt should be split a particular way and then the judge will decide.

The general principle behind community property is that the property is split equally, but it doesn't necessarily always happen that way.  Your divorce attorney can ask for an unequal but equitable split.  This usually comes into play when on party has incurred a lot of debt that only benefits them.  For example, if your spouse is a ski freak and has every piece of ski equipment in triplicate, your attorney can make the argument that that property and debt has not benefited the community.

While the general principle behind community property division is fairly simple, the application can be very complicated.  If you have a complex property division you will definitely want to have an experienced Boise Divorce Attorney to help you get the best division of property possible.  Give us a call, (208) 472-2383 and see what we can do for you.

Boise Divorce Attorneys - Mediation

Mediation
As a Boise Divorce Attorney I regularly see my clients and clients of other attorneys sent to mediation.  This sometimes has the effect of creating anger amongst divorce clients.  They might ask, "Why do I have to go to mediation?"  This is a good question.  The idea behind mediation is that the couples who are in the process of divorce will work out the details of the split. If they work out the details themselves, they tend to be happier with the results because they have had ownership of the outcome. 

As a divorce lawyer, some of my clients say and ask, "We obviously couldn't work things out while we were married, so what makes a judge think that we can work it out now?"  This too is a good point.  There is a balancing act that goes on between the judge, the attorneys and the clients.  The courts in Boise are very back logged.  Mediation, is an attempt to relieve that burden on the court, leaving the calendar open for those cases and those issues that cannot be resolved through mediation.  In addition, it is an attempt to conserve resources.  It preserves open dates in the court, it saves money on your lawyer fees and it preserves community assets that may have to be liquidated to pay for an intense court battle

What is the Topic of Mediation? Child Custody, Property and Any Family Law Issue That Can Possibly Be Resolved Through Mediation.

Mediation can involve many different issues.  It can be confined to child custody or it can include custody as well as debt issues.  Again, the purpose is to resolve as much of the issues particular to divorce before it goes to trial.  Sometimes in a divorce the only issue the couple is fighting over is the community property or the community debt.  Other times, particularly high conflict divorce, most of the issues are subject to dispute.

Your divorce attorney will help you choose a mediator who will work well with you to resolve the issues of the case.  There is a list of court approved mediators.  These are individuals trained in mediation.

If you have a divorce or mediation issue and you need to speak with a Boise Divorce Attorney, please give us a call and see what we can do for you, (208) 472-2383.